10.) If I can crash multiple aircrafts, be damned sure I can crash your country. Because I'm a Maverick.
9.) For some reason I think Sarah Palin is fit for Vice President. And that reason resides in her luscious behind, my friends.
8.) As President, I will make sure Antiques Roadshow gets the credit it deserves. This is priority. Antiques Roadshow comes first.
7.) Instead of "African-American," the appropriate, politically correct way to address a person of African descent will be "that one."
6.) I don't know how to use a computer. I had someone type this for me.
5.) I will miss out on sit-downs with strong foreign leaders...because I pooped myself. And I'm out of diapers, my friends.
4.) But it doesn't matter because I don't sit down with those damn foreigners anyway.
3.) I don't love Joe Biden back.
2.) I made a bet with Barack Obama. If he proved to me that he was not a Muslim, I would release my medical records. I make these types of bets on a daily basis. My friends.
And now, my number one reason not to vote for me...
1.) As clearly indicated from my picture above...I will come to your house. Knock on your door. Let myself in. And then. I will kill you. McCain out.
1 comment:
yay ben! just added you to my blog reader!
i think you'd really like this piece that i read the other day. it's a bit long, but worth reading through.
at the bottom there's a link to the follow-up piece, which is also great, responding to all the assholes who replied saying there is no white privilege.
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