Omar Rodriguez Lopez Loves Chocolate

Omar Rodriguez Lopez
Old Money
Stones Throw
January 27th, 2009



In the year 2039, Tim Burton will be 81. His remakes will be old enough to be remade...again. Why is this important? Because this is also the year, if I had to guess, that yet another vision of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory will be released. Even darker, even wackier, even nuttier. This is also the year where Omar Rodriguez Lopez's newest solo effort, Old Money, under eclectically hip label Stones Throw, will be old enough to be considered a classic. The director of this reborn Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, which will probably be simply titled, Chocolate Factory, will decide to choose the Mars Volta guitarist's Old Money as his classic, sentimental soundtrack for the film, fitting perfectly into the even zanier version of the vintage, sugar-filled fairy tale. The only reasoning behind this futuristic and fictitious fable hides in the fact that Omar Lopez has created an album that needs something as absurd as Chocolate Factory to be understood. Old Money is candy-coated chaos for the working class; an arresting blend of guitar layers, scattered drums, and electronic assistance. The words found outside of musical vernacular to describe Old Money could be the very same ones that future journalists use to describe Chocolate Factory.

True to story, the first track, "Power of Myth," coincides with the distribution and winnings of the golden ticket. An exciting opening track that sets the tone for the rest of the album as a multi-coated vehicle for outrageous and surprisingly organized instrumentation. It is no surprise that the guitar is Omar's go-to, and he makes it punctually relevant on this first track, and throughout the album. Mind bending electronic noises ring forwards and backwards during "Power of Myth," and the guitar sounds change between distorted riffs to wah-wah'd solos and back again. This leads us into Charlie and the others approaching Willy Wonka and his factory..."How to Bill the Bilderberg Group," the second track. A slow increase of drums rolls and what sounds like ghost voices takes us on a journey from outside the factory to inside the factory. "Population Council's Wet Dream," inside the factory, is pure eye candy. Visually. For the sake of the album, we'll call it ear candy. Everywhere you look, or hear, there is something unordinary going on. Organ-like elements riding over tweaky guitar lines, a 4/4 tempo that is frighteningly in order with contrast to the other instrumentals taking place...truly wacky. Animating, somewhat uncomfortable, but leaves you anxiously wanting more.

"Trilateral Commissions As Dinner Guests" is what happens to you when you eat the blueberry gum...you blow up into a confusing sight. This track is as mysterious as it is unfriendly, but this mystery not only makes it tolerable, but enjoyable. It's a girl growing into a round, blue ball. Running on these same comparisons, "Family War Funding(Love Those Rothschilds)" can be seen as the classic Oompa Loompa song. It is a break to keep you caught up, but an upbeat and cautious one. It almost borrows from old Nintendo game music, but keeps itself outside the boundaries of biting. Instrumentally, it follows the same paths most the tracks go down. This leads us into Charlie entering the T.V., otherwise known as "I Like the Rockefellers' First Two Records, But After That..." This song has no gravity. Its instruments just float along aimlessly, projecting towards no certain destination but somehow colliding together into a mystical dimension where music can have a mind of its own. It jumps around just like Charlie and his Grandpa do in the T.V., but, like they are contained in the T.V., the instrumentation is contained within the concept and melody of the song. Nothing strays too far, everything strays just far enough. "Old Monday" concludes Old Money just as credits will conclude Chocolate Factory. This is a slow paced track with nowhere near as much going on instrumentally as the other tracks have, which makes it simplistically beautiful in its own right. Throughout the course of its nine minutes, it slowly builds up into a song with a full arsenal: drums, guitar, bass, electronics, etc., whereas it only started with buzzing guitar riffs. The build up is progressively intense until its final, abrupt end.

As berserk as this story is, it is remarkably the most accurate depiction of Old Money, at least that I could come up with. Although Stones Throw is a questionable character to take on this self-produced, arranged, and directed album by Omar himself, it is good to see them broadening their horizons and doing it with authority. This album is truly an odyssey where if a picture paints only a thousand words, these songs can paint an entire film. Whether you want it to be a futuristic, unmade remake of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory or not, Omar Lopez's latest release will put images in your mind. No doubt about it. The instrumentation is far too thick and powerful to only let it be heard; you must see it, too. If you really can't, maybe you'll just have to wait until 2039.

*Reviewed for URB Magazine, up on www.urb.com soon.*

9th Prince Drops a Bomb

Killarmy Presents 9th Prince
The Prince of New York
Babygrande Records


Theoretically speaking (or not so theoretically), the concept of time consists of various moments. Walking your dog, making dinner, your first kiss, wetting the bed...all in the realm of our "time." Nostalgia acts as a catalyst to trigger one of these moments, most likely in memory. Seeing a dog reminds you of when you walked your own, a candle scent reminds you of the aroma during your first kiss, getting drunk and wetting the bed reminds you of...well, being sober and wetting the bed. All of these are triggers for nostalgia. A symbolic form of time travel, if you will. You don't have to necessarily experience a moment yourself to have something be nostalgic. And this is the case with Killarmy's 9th Prince and his newest release, Prince of New York. Let me explain.

I certainly never grew up in New York City during the early '90s, specifically in the projects. I never went through the come-up or struggle of urban youth life. However, 9th Prince's latest effort puts me there. Not from personal experience, not from my moment, but from Prince's moment. His moments in New York are projected in Prince of New York, the album acting as the nostalgic trigger. Following? Early 90s New York was home to some of the greats...Gangstarr, Nas, Mobb Deep, Wu-Tang, and not only does 9th Prince recognize and tribute this, but he has created an album that sounds like it was sold as a tape deck from the back of Tony's car in the projects, and at the same time sensible to buy on iTunes. And I mean that in the most glorified way possible. The lyrical style is very similar to RZA's, which is no surprise being that 9th Prince is his little brother and Killarmy is a Wu-Tang affiliate. But, nonetheless, Prince of New York separates itself from anything else and stands on its own as an amazing street-smart album from the Prince's kingdom.

A lot of this is heard in the various production talent. Monster drops a hard, orchestral bomb on "Sniper Challengers" with movie track samples that turn the tune into a powerful blast of energy, which 9th Prince matches equally well on his vocals. "Aiyo, Staten Islanders/rhyme challengers/carry silencers/I spit like the snipers/right through the shot/Martin Luther King off the banister/lyrical dillinger/Came to battle cats, the contender." There is only more where that came from. It looks hectic typed out, but 9th Prince brings these bars together like peanut butter and jelly. William Cooper brings a soulful, dark, and soothing beat on "Bottom Line," with female vocals to back the beat, chanting "We're runnin' out of time/this is bottomline." "Ain't Promised Tomorrow" brings a harder hip-hop approach with production by Gooch, where "Like Like" has Beretta 9 jam a jazzier, piano-driven beat. I could go on for days about the diversity in production for Prince of New York, but it is something you must hear for yourself. Blues, jazz, rock, samples, etc. and more, all containing itself within the hard-drive street stompin' hip-hop of New York.

This album is special in a lot of ways. Killarmy sticks to their hardcore roots of 5 Percenter philosophy and New York City backgrounds. They make no negotiations with how they present their music, and this is why Prince of New York should be cherished. It's a contemporary hip-hop goldmine of raw, untouched, New York hip-hop; nostalgic as well as progressive in its own right. 9th Prince does a great job of stepping into the spotlight and man-handling the mic. With production reminiscent of Prince's big bro RZA, lyrics that are like a battering ram of urban culture, and a true display in the essence of hip-hop, 9th Prince's newest release holds back on no front. If hip-hop is really dead, as some say, it's because The Prince of New York killed it.

Progress?

Ding Dong. Go ahead. Take a peek. I know how annoying door to door people can get. Don't answer, I understand. Most people don't want to listen. But in this situation, please do. Grab the handle, turn it and open your ears. Progress. Is progress grabbing the handle? Is it opening the door? Or maybe it's actually opening yourself up...to listen, that is.
Progress can be simply defined. There is nothing tricky about the word, no high school senior pranks lurking around the corner of "progress." It is a display of improvement, an exponential growth of betterment. However, why is it so manageable to distort this definition? To confuse it with whatever it is we want to believe, or want others to believe?

Let's begin to solve the conundrum by using, what I think is, a better definition of the word. Malcolm X once said, "If you stick a knife nine inches into my back and pull it out three inches, that is not progress. Even if you pull it all the way out, that is not progress. Progress is healing the wound, and America hasn't even begun to pull out the knife."

Think of this quote as the one Jenga piece that is seemingly holding all the others intact in one, loose structure. Now, for the other pieces. Well, Malcolm. There is no argument in what he represents: the American Black community. Now, the knife. The knife is white supremacy, the white power structure that our country was and is run by. Defining these pieces might put things into perspective a little bit more.

The real, contemporary question: is President-elect Barack Obama progress? This happens to be a clear example of the distortion of definitions. Having a black president is monumental. It is a historic happening that will forever be remembered. It is all of these things. But is it progress? Is Obama helping to heal the wound, or will he do so? We must remember, especially in the black community, that Barack Obama does not save anyone from anything. This is not to downplay the significance of his election or of his person, but it is to say, we must keep a watchful eye. This is a man who once said blacks are "90% of the way to equality." A statement like this is obviously misinformed and only pleasing to the white population who strives to be "colorblind" and believe racism is near over in America. Obama still needs to maintain(at least slightly) a colorblind approach to our problems; and it is this colorblind approach that is dangerous, ineffective, and contradictorily racist at its core. He is still a politician, and still needs to please the majority of America to keep his presidency. The black community is not the majority of America. They are the majority of prisons. Progress?

That might be unfair to say at the moment seeing as Obama is not in office yet, but we have to ask ourselves...will these things change? Will mandatory minimums change? Will police tactics and racial profiling change? Will ghettos change? These are structures so deeply imbedded in America's political system that it is impossible for one man to change these things. That's why I take the time to ask you, is Obama progress? He is change; change for the better. He is hope. He is the first black president. Is he progress?

White supremacy's knife still dug deep within this election. This was easily detected by the racial slurs spat out at McCain rallies. And we sit here as if those are strange out-of-towners. Those are Americans! Those are majority. Those are the people Obama is trying to please, too. That does not mean he is focused upon them, but it does mean it is doubtful for him to focus on anyone specific, like the black community. The knife dug deeper with California's propositions. The highlight reel being Prop 8, which not only got passed, but followed with misinterpreted facts that placed the blame for its passing on the black community. The Prop that did not get as much attention, but was even more dangerous, was Prop 6. This allowed 14 year-olds to get tried as adults for gang-related crimes. Thankfully this did not get passed. However, the mere fact it was suggested is a grotesque twist of the knife. A Prop like this would have further destroyed ghettos and increased prison populations, which in return would destroy the black community as a whole. White supremacy reared its ugly head in this past election, and luckily Obama prevailed. Hope. But not progress.

Malcolm brings about a curious point in that progress is healing the wound. The hard part is, there seems to be so many wounds. Obama has the chance to make some progress; in the school system, for example. But is it progress when there are still so many knives waiting to be pulled out? So many wounds waiting to be healed? The deeply rooted racial evil of this country was nowhere near dented when Obama was elected our next president. Obama will give us hope, and he may give us change, but it is unrealistic for him to give us real progress. At least in his first term. This is my reasoning behind this piece. We must remember this. We must respect Obama and do all we can to help him, however remember that real progress is brought forth by togetherness. This is a wake up call, for lack of a better term. An alarm that rings out what we need to hear. It is our duty to keep an eye Obama, and help out where we can. We can not leave things solely up to him. He will not bring the black prison population down from over 50% to 12%(the American black population). He will not rid of mandatory minimums on crack/cocaine or police racial profiling. He will not, or he can not. We must all positively come together to help bring progress. And with our first black president around the corner, now is a great time to do it. Obama might get his hands on these knives. He might start to wiggle some of them out of there. Maybe even pull some out. My calling to you is, let's try to start healing these wounds.

Been a while, so I'm making it up to you with something special.

That something special happens to be a full 20 minute set of J Dilla's brother, John. Aka Illa J. He performed off his new album Yancey Boys that dropped November 4th. Pretty dope album; all old Dilla beats picked up by Mike Ross (Delicious Vinyl) and brought to Illa, who layed vocals over 14 of them. Thus, an album. Brotherly love.

Lee Scratch Perry

My article and interview on Lee Scratch Perry has been published! You can read here. Props to Wax Poetics Magazine for gettin' it up.

THIS IS TOMORROW NIGHT!

I'm spinning this tomorrow night (broken window), so come out and have a good time! Drink lots, open tabs(we get percent of the bar)! And get ready for a mind blowing poli-hop set. Whatever that is. Made it up. But get ready.

Happy Birthday Pharoahe Monch

Shout out to Pharoahe Monch; someone who has remained relatively underground in the hip-hop scene, but people know him. It's his birthday today, and to honor that, here is a quick interview as well as his new video for "Welcome to the Terrordome." He recorded this song on his album Desire. As good as Public Enemy is, this cover certainly does a justice. Pharoahe rips it to shreds. I also suggest buying Desire, because it has some of the best tracks I've heard in a while, with extremely relevant viewpoints on race politics. Peep the vids.

Pharoahe Monch from Monstar Productions LLC on Vimeo.

Welcome To The Terrordome from W.A.R. Media on Vimeo.

Much Clearer Now...

Before watching this video, I think it is fair to examine its properties, if you will. Obama and Palin. With one comparison to McCain. Comparing Obama and Palin is like comparing Kobe Bryant to Kwame Brown...it just doesn't make sense. HOWEVER. It's still funny as hell. I've been rustling through my brain these past few weeks, and although I have reached the conclusion that I dislike Sarah Palin very much so, as a person, I do not like her...I also reached the conclusion that she is in an unfair position. She has no cause, no purpose, and no business running for Vice President of the United States. She is clearly not qualified and unaware of what the position of VP is actually responsible for. And she made fun of fruit fly research. "Dolt." That's an appropriate term. Anyway, without further ado, here's the video. Thanks to playahata.com.

DOPE-ness.

Wazzz UPpPPppPpp?!!?!?!??

Back. www.playahata.com for the ups. This vid is amazing.

Vote URB

Al Bundy Pals Around With Terrorists

This is a great video; wonderful response from the Obama Campaign to "Joe the Plumber." Al's finest work to date. Check it out. Props to Playa Hata.

Jasiri X Episode 7

Check this out, Jasiri X's Episode Seven. Thanks to Davey D and Playa Hata.

Evidence Joint: CHECK THIS OUT.

Yo, Evidence dropped his first joint off of the upcoming Layover EP featuring Phonte, Blu, and Will.i.am. It's pretty fiery, I suggest taking a listen. Download it here. And go to www.URB.com for more.

It is looking more and more like we are going to have our first (half) Black President. Although I don't personally believe this will do much for race relations in America, I do believe that it is a step in a direction different from the one we were going in. I will leave whether it is a good or bad direction out of this, but I'd like to think it's for a better one. That being said, I have decided to post an essay that will drop some history for you hip-hop fans. The essay discusses Black Nationalism in America and its strong relation to the beginning's of hip-hop, as well as how it helped shape hip-hop today. Read on!



Black Nationalist thought has been something deeply rooted in the emergence of Hip Hop and Hip Hop culture. This emergence has slowly evolved into what the market refers to as “the underground.” This essay will discuss not only how Black Nationalism spawned in America and Hip Hop, but the deeper meaning behind its gender roles and other themes in Hip Hop music.

In order to create a context for Black Nationalism in Hip Hop music and culture, one must define Black Nationalism in the context of how it arose in America. Black Nationalism is a diasporic connection between blacks; one that rejects the ideas of the White Supremacist America. It is also the idea of wanting a nation, as Malcolm X defined it. Land is the basis of freedom, and one must obtain a land of their own; a nation of their own. This Diaspora created the post-civil rights idea of Black Nationalist thought that emerged so greatly in Hip Hop music.

Black Nationalism was a backbone for Hip Hop music in the late 1980s and early 1990s. In the context of Hip Hop and America, this thought stemmed from the Black Power movement of 1966 in an attempt to redefine, or recreate, black masculinity. The woman’s role was unfortunately very small, if any role at all but to give birth to more black men, which also is rooted in the religion of Islam that is very closely related to Black Nationalism. As Charise L. Cheney discusses in her articles "Brothers Gonna Work it Out" and "Ladies First", Hip Hop was ultimately “born in the school of hard knocks at the crossroads of black Atlantic migrations, rap music [was] a form of black and urban expression that was forged as a truly New World, or diasporic, music.” This Diaspora and rejection of a White Supremacy is the roots of one form of Black Nationalism in Hip Hop. The discussion of the urban, of violence, of the poor, is this rejection. Cheney refers to this Black Nationalism in Hip Hop as raptivism. This raptivism holds a more “political trend reflective of a collective black mood” and does this through highly political lyrics, as seen in the music of Ice Cube, Public Enemy, and more Black Nationalist artists. For example, the music video for Public Enemy’s “Fight the Power” represents Black Nationalism in Hip Hop perfectly. The video consists of Public Enemy performing at what seems to be a rally…opening with footage of Civil Rights movements in the 1960s and Chuck D proclaiming they aren’t going to do it like that anymore. Cheney says something similar when it is mentioned, “the modern Civil Rights movement failed to produce substantial change in the economic and social lives of black Americans.” This is also what Chuck D is claiming; that the Civil Rights did not necessarily do anything for black Americans, which is why they are using more liberal and outspoken methods…or, Black Nationalism in Hip Hop. These methods also hold very Afrocentric ideas, as seen in the songs “Acknowledge Your Own History” by the Jungle Brothers and “Raise the Flag” by X Clan. Both songs talk about blackness in the roots of Africa; how their fathers were kings, or representing the colors of the “motherland.” These Afrocentric ideas were one form of Black Nationalist thought in Hip Hop music.

This movement also held more ideas than simply a nation for blacks…but more so a nation for black men, and a remasculizing of the black man. This idea stems from the Nation of Islam, making roles for women very minute. Cheney discusses that although many find the sexist material offensive in Hip Hop, “hardly any critics have placed this issue within its proper context: the social-political struggle for the remasculization of black men.” She goes on to discuss that during the post-Civil Rights movement, many black, male children were raised in female-headed households, while many black men were being imprisoned. These conditions called for black men to step forward in attempts for remasculization. As Too Short explains, it wasn’t about degrading women; it was about being a black man. It seems that in Hip Hop music, the space for women runs very small. Even in Queen Latifah’s song “Ladies First,” a pro-feminism song, the lyrics show no real separation from black male space. She simply raps that women can rap…but does not claim anything to herself aside from the fact that, as a woman, men cannot be born without her…which is already in the ideas of Black Nationalist thought. This evolved into what Cheney describes as a fear of the black woman, as well. This fear revolves around the idea that the black women are out to steal black men’s power, their wealth, to demasculize them. Because of this, many Hip Hop lyrics degrade women..

In the modern separation of mainstream and underground, underground is seen as a safe place that is free of misogyny and hate; however, this essay shows how this is not necessarily true. Hip Hop has only separated into these two subjects by means of a marketing tool for more record sales. As seen in the song “I Used To Love H.E.R.” by Common, an “underground” artist, he still deeply sexualizes the woman and treats her as “less than,” as he does in many songs. This dims the line between mainstream and underground, claiming that either “style” of music has equally problematic issues dealing with women and other offensive material. The mainstream and the underground are nothing but simply, Hip Hop.

Themes in Hip Hop vary on so many different levels. It is hard to distinguish in this day and age one particular thematic element relevant in all of Hip Hop music. What is not hard to distinguish is Hip Hop's roots, and this essay was meant to do that; partially, at least. Black Nationalism was not only a significant and positive movement, largely forgotten with the help of COINTELPRO and the Reagan Administration, but it was an inspiring movement that bled into the very soul of Hip Hop.

Mainstream Vs. The Underground: A Look Into the Core of Hip Hop

In light of the Presidential debates, I have decided to post an essay I wrote involving one of hip-hop's biggest debates, the mainstream vs. the underground. This essay shows how the two were distinctly separated, and explains why. Please read on, bloggers. Feel free to express your thoughts.

The idea of the “mainstream” has been dominant in popular culture since the early 1990s; however, this idea was non-existent to Hip Hop prior to those times. This essay will discuss how the mainstream emerged from a division in Hip Hop between a conscious and gangster rap, as well as what the market demanded, and the origins of the mainstream/underground dichotomy.

The mainstream was created out of a demanding market for what is known as “gangster rap.” This is to say, people, a white majority to be specific, wanted to hear more hard-hitting material that artists like N.W.A. brought to the table. 1987-1994 was known as a “golden age” of Hip Hop, before mainstream. But once N.W.A. hit the top of the charts, and Dr. Dre released The Chronic, the demand for gangster rap was clearly relevant. White people bought the concept of the gangster, and corporations took advantage of this, creating what we know as the mainstream.

Gangster rap is often categorized as something separate from socially conscious rap, however I must stress it is only a different style of saying the same thing. The “mainstream” of the 1990s was no different than it’s counterpart of the “underground.” Imani Perry defines gangster rap in his essay, "The Glorious Outlaw: Hip Hop Narratives, American Law and the Court of Public Opinion" in terms of the character known as “the outlaw,” stating, “Hip Hop embraces the outlaw. Outlaw status is conferred only metaphorically through lawbreaking, but on a deeper, more symbolic level, it is achieved through a position of resistance to the confines of status quo existence.” This is seen greatly in Black Nationalist or socially conscious Hip Hop,as well as gangster rap. As Perry suggests while talking about Biggie, rap is about storytelling. The gangster, or the outlaw, is a character expressed through the artist that embodies the problems and struggles with African American life. All is about rejection, such as the drug-dealing gangster, “an alternative power in the face of white supremacy”. Even the mainstream challenges these ideas.

The mainstream and underground date as far back to slavery, as the Hip Hop movement does as well if you think in broader terms. Historically, the mainstream/underground dichotomy, in the plainest of its definitions, existed as the House Negro and the Field Negro. The Field Negro got scraps for food, wished the master's death, was the embodiment of “the underground,” whereas the House Negro was fed nicely, took care of the master, and embodied the “mainstream.” Think of the "master" today as white supremacy(no, not The KKK, but the ideology behind an uneven power structure where whiteness is not only at the top, but the norm). The House Negro was what we would come to think of as a sellout, yet as Perry states, Hip Hop disrupts this idea and allows it to evolve. While instead of selling out to the “master,” they sell out to a stereotype of themselves, or what Perry calls “Thug Mimicry.” This idea “dislocates the authority for defining the black underworld and [manipulates] the negative images of black America in order to serve the interests of white America.” Black men embrace the stereotype in order to reclaim the stereotype. This challenges the idea of selling out, and creates a more post-1990 idea of buying in. Rap artists buy into this mimicry in order to get a profit; which is technically what Hip Hop is all about; rising up. As Ice Cube stated so perfectly, "I never talk about gettin' down/it's all about comin' up." This notion is shown well in the songs “Dope Man” by Jay-Z, “Black Republican” by Nas and Jay-Z, and “C.R.E.A.M.” by Wu Tang Clan, all of which embrace the thug in order to show how the mainstream functions in society today. In “Dope Man” Jay assumes the form of a drug dealer, yet the drug he is pushing is his music, and he is put on trial for it. Much like Kanye West's "Crack Music," where the music itself acts as the drug for White America, a play on the crack "epidemic" that took place during President Reagan's term. In “Black Republican” Nas and Jay claim how they can make money, now, too…yet could just as easily go back to the ghetto; mimicking the gangster still, while also realizing they can become rich in the game of Hip Hop, in the redefinition of their own stereotype. “C.R.E.A.M.” is very similar, talking about the “come up” in the ghetto, stressing how cash rules everything.

The mainstream is about cash flow and the come up. Through thug mimicry and the persona of the outlaw, we begin to see how gangster rap and the mainstream do not stray from the original ideas of Hip Hop that people think only the underground expresses. The point I'm trying to make here is just that: the idea that there is nothing "conscious" about gangster rap is simply a concept bestowed upon the listener by the larger white "suits" looking to make a buck and not disrupt the normative white power structure. They do this by continual labeling, for example the very genre "gangsta' rap." When in fact, as Perry points out, these so called "gangstas" assume the character in order to make it work for them. That is to say, they come up, get out of the ghetto that has imprisoned them for so many years, and make money. This is the essence of Hip Hop, the true core of not only its creation, but the culture that came out of it. The mainstream and the underground are far more closely linked than the music industry leads one to believe. But it is easier to put a "thug" at the top of a Billboard than an underground artist who speaks his conscience with a little less subtlety than a mainstream artist would like. This is not to downplay the underground Hip Hop artist in anyway, or the mainstream, but only to draw a comparison of the two, showing how the white power structure has done all it can to twist Hip Hop into labels and racist stereotypes in order to keep this said power structure intact, taking away parts of the true meaning and culture of Hip Hop.

John McCain's Top Ten Reasons Not to Vote for John McCain

10.) If I can crash multiple aircrafts, be damned sure I can crash your country. Because I'm a Maverick.

9.) For some reason I think Sarah Palin is fit for Vice President. And that reason resides in her luscious behind, my friends.

8.) As President, I will make sure Antiques Roadshow gets the credit it deserves. This is priority. Antiques Roadshow comes first.

7.) Instead of "African-American," the appropriate, politically correct way to address a person of African descent will be "that one."

6.) I don't know how to use a computer. I had someone type this for me.

5.) I will miss out on sit-downs with strong foreign leaders...because I pooped myself. And I'm out of diapers, my friends.

4.) But it doesn't matter because I don't sit down with those damn foreigners anyway.

3.) I don't love Joe Biden back.

2.) I made a bet with Barack Obama. If he proved to me that he was not a Muslim, I would release my medical records. I make these types of bets on a daily basis. My friends.

And now, my number one reason not to vote for me...

1.) As clearly indicated from my picture above...I will come to your house. Knock on your door. Let myself in. And then. I will kill you. McCain out.

A Little Gaslamp Live For Ya' Killers

Here's the mother-fucking Gaslamp Killer, about a minute of a live set. Just something to hold you guys.

Jean Grae Review

Jean Grae
The Evil Jeanius
Babygrande Records


New York emcee Jean Grae has once again, silently but surely, slipped an amazing LP into the hands of the consumer. Said LP, titled The Evil Jeanius, is a collaboration with all production done by Blue Sky Black Death; similar to Jean's other release Jeanius with 9th Wonder on the production. In fact, the way the album is presented, it might be more fair to call it a Blue Sky Black Death album with Jean Grae on the vocals. Either way, it is a very interesting hip-hop album.

First off, to those who think women can't rap, or it might not sound as good, I say, fuck that, listen to old Queen Latifah. But if that's not hard enough for you, then I say, Jean Grae. This New Yorker can truly crush a beat, with verses as complex as any of the best males in the game. "There's no back up, nigga, this is the last plan. Stalkin' a tunnel like a cat scan...I'll jack a fuckin' beat from your motha', I trust none of ya'." This is how Grae opens the album up on "Shadows Forever." Hard. Real. Quick. Vulgar, but not too vulgar. She brings it, and isn't afraid to tone down lyrics by any standards, which I really like about this album. Because there is opposites. "Away With Me" is a love song, where Grae's lyrics is up there with Common's on Dilla's "So Far To Go." Meaning, there is real feeling there, and you forget that she was cussing over a hard beat only a few songs before. "Nobody'll Do It For You" shows Grae's poppy side, with rhymes that snap right along to the upbeat production. Vocally, this is the most impressive part of the album. Grae molds her vocal talent to whatever the song calls for, creating an incredibly diverse hip-hop that anyone can find something interesting in. Which brings me to the production.

While on the topic of vocal diversity, let's talk about the diversity in the production. One of the better produced albums I have heard in a while, Blue Sky Black Death covers most the bases of modern popular hip-hop. You would think DJ Premier did "Ahead of the Game," Blockhead on "Strikes," and Kanye West doing "Threats." Songs that follow each other immediately. Yet there is no confusion, no questioning, nothing but fluidity and awe. Blue Sky Black Death mix all the great things from production into one album. Their field is a large one, with everything from samples and scratches, to electronic bass bangers. The closing track, "It's Still a Love Song," even follows the greatest things about Wayne's "Let the Beat Build" and UGK's "International Player's Anthem..." a seemingly soft love number, and then BAM, the beat drops hard, one of the more fun things in hop-ballads of late. Grae's vocals act as a string that ties all of this production together, which seems like a dangerous game for a fragile album, but luckily for the listener, Grae brings her verses with such strength that her string becomes a chain, and the beats are welded on. This is a powerful hip-hop album, extraordinarily eclectic, and a real treat from the Jean Grae/Blue Sky Black Death collaboration. I can only hope for more.